One of the things I’ve seen come up in various forums, and what I’ve personally experienced in my own weight loss journey or weight loss mission (including last time and this time around) is dealing with times where it’s like “I lost the weight, and now they want me back!” Just to let you know, I’ll be touching on unhealthy relationship dynamics, but I won’t mention specifics. If this is something you need to take into account for your own mental well-being, then I encourage you to skip today’s post. No hard feelings, we’ll kick it again some other time.
I’ve come across stories where one person gets involved with someone, and that someone ends things with them for whatever reason. Sometimes it’s due to their weight, whether they admit to it or not, and other times, it’s something else either related or unrelated to their weight. If the involvement wasn’t healthy, then the other person will find a reason to mistreat them, including their weight at the time.
Then when they lose whatever weight they needed to during the relationship’s existence, they run into the other party. We can probably guess where this is going, huh?
The other party makes it clear they want them back, and they want another chance.
I’ve also seen stories where the dynamic wasn’t a committed partnership, but instead acquaintances or other form of relationship. Maybe at one point it was a friendship. The friendship or acquaintanceship either fades, or in some instances, the other person ends it outright. Sometimes the other party wants nothing to do with them, and treats them terribly.
Then comes that chance meeting after the person loses the weight, and the other party wants them back in their lives.
Sometimes the dynamics involved in the scenarios were healthy. Other times, they weren’t.
For me, most of them weren’t, and looking back, it was for the best they ended.
In one instance, it was someone I saw around on a regular basis. There was no relationship of any kind, they were just someone I crossed paths with often. They went out of their way to treat me like shyt when they weren’t actively pretending I didn’t exist. No names or specifics. I don’t want them on this blog, and besides, they don’t need to be here anyway. At the time, I didn’t know why they were acting like this toward me. I’d been nothing but nice to them, so where was this coming from? What’d I ever do to them?
Until I lost the weight, that is. This happened before the pandemic, but out of nowhere, they start doting on me, and aggressively so. Just the way I saw them doing to others!
I thought that maybe they’d changed. People can change, and they deserve a chance and the space to do so. But still, something still didn’t feel right to me. I’ll spare you the details when they broadcasted someone else’s private health concerns to me, and I didn’t know this person from Adam.
I’ll also spare you the details on the straw that broke the camel’s back for me where they’re concerned. Let’s say it involved someone who was in a terrible place with themselves, and there wasn’t a damn thing they were able to do about it.
This person didn’t care, and they were downright nasty toward that someone. That does it. We’re done, bud. You haven’t changed a single bit, and at this point, you never will.
They saw me in recent months, and whimpered “Hi” at me. Other than that, they’d look so sad and wistful toward me.
Some could argue that this person just wanted another chance, and that they just wanna surround themselves with people who succeed, and learn from them.
Fine. There’s dozens of other people in this town who succeeded in whatever. They can go talk to them instead. They don’t need me, and they’ll live.
I’ve got another story where the other person wanted another chance after I lost the weight, and the answer was nope.
I’ve decided that for me, second chances will be a rarity. The reason being is that if they didn’t want me before because of my weight, then why would I want the idea that they only want me back because of my looks now hovering over me?
Talk about a terrible way to go into any relationship or acquaintanceship!
But how do you deal when someone wants you back after you lost weight? Just so we’re on the same page here, I’m only speaking for myself here, and I’m no expert in any of this stuff beyond my own experience.
The thing is, only you can decide whether or not the other person wanting you back after you lost the weight is worth that second chance, whether they were good, bad, or neither. If you have even the slightest doubt toward their motives, then maybe that can be your answer, even if you don’t know why you’re feeling that way.
Over to you, readers. Have you ever had someone want you back after you lost weight or changed your appearance in some other way? How’d you deal? Sound off below, and let’s talk.