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Janky Job Jamboree, #3: “HR” Dumpster Fire

A decorative image with a white background, a yellow ruled Post-It note in the upper left hand corner with a piece of tape on it, a sketch rendering of a file folder with a piece of paper hanging out of it in the upper right hand corner, a sketch rendering of a lady with long brown hair wearing white dress pants, blue pumps, and a blue suit jacket with a clipboard in her left hand, a sketch rendering of a group of three men wearing suits and ties, sitting at a table together with a laptop shared between them, and a sketch rendering of a man in the bottom right hand corner wearing a green dress shirt, white pants, and black dress shoes, with a microphone in his left hand,delivering a presentation. The text reads "The Mission Within Presents The Janky Job Jamboree," a series devoted to low-quality job postings, job posting red flags, red flags in a job posting, and exploitative employers.
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Happy New Week, everyone! If y’all have been here for more than a hot minute, you probably know that I’ll hit up the job boards from time to time and see what else is out there. Some of it’s unfortunately job scams, and other times, it’s legit, but a bad job posting. I’ve decided that I’ll always be entertaining other offers, just to be on the safe side. Those job boards formed the genesis of what became the Janky Job Jamboree.

This is a series where I hit up the job boards, find scam job postings, or otherwise bad job postings. I’ll grab screenshots of the most nonsensical, half-assed, quarter-assed, or super sus postings, and bring the fun to you so we can laugh at the horseshit they’re insulting job seekers’ intelligence w/.

Job seekers, y’all deserve so much better than what you’re getting.

Today’s installment is no different, and it comes to us from the entertainment industry. I’ll be doggone! This is a first for me, but there’s a first time for everything. As always, if y’all think you may know who the company is, or if you know for sure who this company is, I want y’all to keep it to yourselves. We don’t need to give them the traffic, and they don’t need it anyways.

Let’s have a look, shall we? Here, we’ve got ourselves a twofer!

Screenshot of a job posting from indeed for a "business administrator/hr point of contact." Company name and location are obscured in green. Pay rate is quoted at 15 to 16 dollars an hour, and this is a full-time job.
Maybe this is entry-level? There’s gotta be an explanation for this.

Double duty, I guess? Maybe there’s been budget cuts?

Continuation of the job posting reads: benefits, pulled from the job description. Fuel card. Full job description. Obscured company name is looking for a business administrator and h.r. point of contact who will plan, direct, coordinate, or liaise one or more administrative services of the business unit, such as records and information.
Joy! A fuckin fuel card as a benefit. Just what I always wanted! /s

Now we’re getting into the meat and potatoes of this little thing o’ beauty. They’re asking us to do all the administrative functions, even those typically outside the scope of what an office administrator generally includes. Yeah, this job posting is to HR as ketchup is to ice cream.

In other words, one of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn’t belong.

Text reads: such as information management, reports, and accounts payable, payroll, facilities planning and maintenance, human resources, assisting GM and other office support services. this position reports directly to the VP/GM. this position is 80% business coordinator and 20% human resources. maintain employee personnel/HR files administer employment processes, benefits, onboarding/orientation, leave benefits, employee verifications and management of payroll. maintain EEO compliance reports
There are no words. I’m speechless.

Dude. Just no. Now they’re asking us to do payroll and accounting on top of all this! I’d imagine that since accounting can be incredibly complex, they’d want someone w/ a degree and training in that also. After all, this is what they’re expecting the candidate to do. But, that’s just my guess. I’m no HR person, never have been or will be, nor do I play one on TV, so wtf do I know?

Continuation of screenshot reads as follows: manage quarterly and yearly FCC reportsmanage worker's comp and auto insurance claims prepare and submit monthly operational reports such as station corporate credit card distribute monthly financial reports to management team working on yearly budgets handle all aspects of accounts payable and receivables/collections liaise with senior leadership, corporate staff discreet nature with access to critical private information is necessary effective employee communication skills
JFC.

I notice the tense shifts w/in their laundry list of desirable traits their ‘perfect’ candidate/victim has. Yeah, these ppl have no idea what the fuck they want, and they’re taking it out on job seekers who only want a chance and make their living. I saw this all the time as a job seeker, and companies who do this are part of the problem. End of.

But what the hell good is this living if it’s 15-16 dollars an hour as quoted in the previous screenshot, and full time, to boot.

Seriously. I hope this company allows their employees to work other jobs, cuz this is exactly what whoever they pick for this nightmare of a job is gonna have to do in order to survive. If they’re so draconian as to demand exclusivity from their employees and be their only means of living, then they’ll reap what they’ve sown.

At that shitty pay rate, you’re almost better off working at a daycare instead.

Continuation of the screenshot reads: effective employee communication skillsorganize and direct station employee events manage all employee/vendor/trade contracts oversee station fleet and employee gas cards attend and contribute to weekly department head meetings other duties as assigned Requirements and Skills office management and HR Administrator is a must bachelor's degree preferred plus 3 to 5 years' experience interpersonal savvy-relates well with all people builds rapport and effective relations and uses dialogue and trust. confidentiality is crucial.
Oh, they’re listing the job title as skills too!

In other words, we’re gonna run your ass ragged 15 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your walks home will be your time off and your vacation. It’ll be extreme hardcore, like Elon Musk made what used to be known as Twitter when he demanded them all be on site, despite remote work being a huge boon for the employees. Then, just like in Manor House on PBS (remember that? Pepperidge Farm remembers!), you’ll need to play catch-up on the work you didn’t do while you were walking home or walking to work.

Ok, ok. I’m exaggerating a bit here, to be fair. At the same time, this job’s probably 40 hours a week, maybe as much as 50 or 60 w/ that kind of workload, but you’re sure as shyt not gonna have a life outside of work. At 15-16 dollars an hour, they’re demanding a fuckin Bachelor degree, and 3-5 years of experience. This isn’t just lousy pay, this is exploitation and it’s abusive.

Continuation of the text from the screenshot reads as follows: builds rapport and effective relations and uses diplomacy and tact. confidentiality is crucialapproachability-is easy to approach and talk to, is a good listener action oriented-enjoys working hard and is action oriented problem solving and decision making-uses logic and methods to solve difficult problems, finds sources for input, makes good decisions based upon a mixture of analysis, wisdom, experience, and judgment will be involved in the hiring and firing process, along w/ working with disgruntled employees.
So, y’all are basically looking for a Mary Sue, perfect in every way w/ no flaws. Cool, cool. Got it.

This is so unrealistic. So, basically they’re wanting a Pollyanna who’s a serious glutton for punishment, if I’m understanding the part about how their ideal “candidate” “enjoys working hard and is action oriented.” Then, they’re putting this candidate up to dealing w/ employees going postal, when they’re probably dangerous AF to begin w/.

Continuation of the job posting screenshot, where text reads as follows: EOE [meaning equal opportunity employer]pay: 15.00 to 16.00 per hour experience: leadership 3 years preferred ability to commute: required. Company location is obscured in green for anonymity.
Ability to commute required for this 15 to 16 dollar an hour job. FFS, make it make sense already!
To be fair to this company, and kinda play devil’s advocate, (not that they even remotely deserve it if they’re doing their candidates this dirty), this posting was on Indeed, which is a job board that pulls postings from company sites. Aggregate sites like this are notorious for adding info where the original posting on the company site didn’t have it, but at the same time, the onus is on whoever posted this heinous requisition or ok’d it to be posted to third-party job sites to sort out any mistakes the technology made, isn’t it?

They want whoever they choose for this job to commute for it, and the only way this could even remotely be doable would be if they rode the bus, or lived w/in walking distance of the company. I’m doubting they offer bus passes as a perk, but commuting can’t be cheap whatsoever. Idk what the going rate for gas prices is these days, but there’s no way in hell that 15 dollars an hour will cover it for long.

Continuation of the job posting screenshot reads as follows: ability to relocate: relocate before starting work required.work location: in person. Company location is obscured in green for anonymity. Text below job description reads "if you require alternative methods of application or screening, you must approach the employer directly to request this as Indeed is not responsible for the employer's application process." Below this statement is a gray button with a flag on it that says "Report job."
This is like relocating for a McDonald’s job. Restaurant, not corporate.

It kills me to think someone from a different town could find this, and consider relocating for a job like this, where they’re in an unfamiliar place, probably on their own away from whatever support system they had, if any to begin w/. If this job posting is anything to go by, I think I may have dodged a bullet when a similar company to this one refused to even give me the time of day when I was in college and looking for work.

It’s no shocker this posting has been up for the better part of a month. I haven’t been able to find a single trace of this post, but either I haven’t been looking hard enough, or they pulled this specific listing.

Either way, it’s also heartbreaking to think about the caliber of candidates this post will get. My first thought is that it’s someone who’s been out of work for who knows how long, desperate for something, anything, and their mental health is nonexistent as a result. Or someone who’s been out of work for who knows how long, w/ nonexistent mental health, and a limitless case of so-called ‘impostor syndrome’ thrown in for good measure. Or someone looking to get into the industry, only to be met w/ postings like this. When they invariably get rejected from posts like this, they’re left feeling like there’s no place for them in the industry at all.

I did, and it’s why I’m done w/ this industry forever.

I hope nobody outside the town this posting is in will even bother applying for it. I hope they never get any takers for this posting. I wonder if this company’s Powers that Be also have the guts enough to whine about how they “just can’t find anyone,” when in the next breath, they’re posting job descriptions like this.

Job seekers, I’ve said it before, and I’m gonna say it again: y’all deserve so much better than this. In case nobody’s told you this lately, I’m rooting for you, I give a damn, and you’re worth more than an MLM, no matter what companies like this tell you or leave you feeling like.

Over to you, readers. Have you come across job postings like this? Did you apply? If so, did you make it to the interview stage, or were you rejected immediately instead? Either way, I’d love to hear your thoughts and takeaways, so let’s talk.

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