Kevin If you’ve been around here for a bit, you’ll see I’ve started up the Hunbot Hoedown, a new series dedicated to anti-MLM content, and my own take on it after seeing some videos over on YouTube about it. One of em got me thinking about my own history in MLMs, and w/ MLMs for that matter.
As always, if you think you know the person I’m talking about, I want you to keep it to yourself. I won’t confirm it either way, and since they’re not here to defend themselves, I’m not mentioning any real names or identifying details. As an extra layer of anonymity, I’ll be referring to them by they/them pronouns, regardless of how they actually identify.
During my most recent job search, I’ve come in for my share of MLM pitch-slaps, over on LinkedIn. In the past, I got the pitch-slaps in the 3D world, since it was before the Internet came to my house, and fewer households had access to it in comparison to today.
In that job search, I’m sad to say that I’ve had more than one connection reach out to me w/ the endgame of recruiting me into their MLM. Most were the type to cut to the chase, but a few played the long con.
One of those who fall into the former category is someone I’ll call Pat. They were in college at the time, studying something that wasn’t pre-law, based on what I gleaned from their profile. I can’t remember how we became connections, but we talked in the chats for quite some time. Several months, to be exact. We talked about their studies, and how horrible my job search was going.
After a horrible candidate experience at a company (so what else is new, haha), one that left me feeling worse than usual, Pat and I were talking, and it all felt so hopeless. My finances were in the shitter (and still are, tbh), and I was terrified. The shyt was getting more and more real by the day, when each company’s Powers that Be made the choice to count me out and write me off, and made the choice to declare me trash accordingly.
Pat then said they may be able to help. I can’t remember what I expected, but it definitely wasn’t an MLM pitch-slap. They called me “super sharp,” saying that I’d make a great addition to their team selling something that wasn’t Arbonne. I felt so gutted and betrayed, and I wasn’t sure what to say. I actually cried when I read those words inviting me into their pyramid scheme being touted as a solution to all my problems.
I’m pretty sure I told Pat that I didn’t have that kind of time. After some back and forth, they told me to “keep in touch.” Yeah, no. Even when I was in the MLM, it never would’ve occurred to me to do this to someone. It wasn’t long after that when I made the choice to boot them from my network, and block em.
No, they spent months on end building that relationship w/ me, buttering me up so they could sell me on their so-called “business opportunity.” They didn’t get to share in on my new job, which was still months away for me at that time.
Damn, I can’t believe the betrayal still smarts, even now.
Next up is someone I’ll call Kade. They were in an industry that wasn’t computer programming, and they were on track for retirement. They weren’t someone I interacted w/ in the DMs on a regular basis, but Kade seemed real cool and level-headed. They were looking for work to supplement their retirement income, and have that safety net, if I remember this right.
In that case, nothing wrong w/ that. Hey, go for it! I plan to do this when I start getting to be that age, no matter what becomes of this blog.
Nothing much about Kade stood out to me, until they posted that they’d gotten a job. It was w/ an MLM company that wasn’t Monat, and it had me so scared for Kade. It was also the same MLM I fell for, less than a month after my mom died. I’m sure the job posting they found seemed legit at first, as the one I found seemed legit.
More on that later.
So, I reached out to Kade in the DMs, saying that I was happy they found work, but to be careful. I said that I knew someone who had been in this company, and it hadn’t worked out for them. Kade seemed receptive at first, but then lashed out at me later on, and continued throughout the day. They called me a hater, that the someone I knew deserved it cuz they didn’t want success that bad, blah, blah, blah, and so on. It wasn’t in those specific words, but that basically sums it up.
Kade blocked me after their marathon tantrum. I’d never seen Kade act like this, and I never saw it coming. Looking back, I wish I’d handled it differently, saying I wished them nothing but the best of luck, and left it at that.
In time, I realized that maybe Kade was scared that their run w/ not-Monat wouldn’t work out, and that their upline probably coached them to say this stuff and lash out like that. By the time they posted about getting into the MLM, they were probably already had hook, line, and sinker. I also remembered that when we’re in shitty places, we can sometimes say or do things that are otherwise outta character for us.
This doesn’t mean Kade’s nasty attitude was ok. Far from it, but it explains things. Kade was in a rotten place, and their upline took hardcore advantage of that. It’s been years, and while I’m 99% sure this was outta character for them, I’m still shook at how this came so easy to them.
I saw a YouTube video of Hannah Alonzo’s, and it inspired me to do my own digital welfare checks on some ppl who’ve pitch-slapped me or got involved in MLMs due to this garbage job market.
Pat and Kade were two of the ones I welfare-checked. Pat’s profile had zero mention of not-Arbonne, but it also had no mention of it back when I dealt w/ them. There was no indication in any of their posts of their involvement in the pyramid, even those dated around the time this happened.
It’s hard to say whether Pat’s still involved w/ this stupid, predatory company. I’m hoping this is something they’ve moved on from, so I’ll leave that up in the air.
Kade’s profile mentioned not-Monat, and how they were so excited to have found their calling in life. There were a few other mentions of not-Monat after that, but several months later, they seemed to have moved on. They found a job in their previous industry according to their timeline around the time they left the company. Kade’s profile also seems like they’ve gone dark since then.
I have my guesses as to why, but since I can’t confirm any of it, I’ll keep it to myself.
Whatever the reason behind them going dark, I hope they’re holding up these days. I won’t say “I told you so.” Nope, not gonna happen. I’m so sorry this didn’t work out, for whatever reason, and I mean that. No matter what the reason was, it wasn’t ever Kade’s fault. I had hoped Kade would be the exception among a company (and an industry, tbh) that’s designed to set ppl up for failure from the get-go. If I had the chance to talk to Kade, that’s exactly what I’d say to them.
On another note, I also did a digital welfare check on someone I remembered during my own sojourn in the MLM I got caught up in when I was in college. For the sake of the story, I’ll call them Nick. Nick had made it high enough up in the pyramid that they made quite a bit of money, and I was part of their downline. They had the title involving the word “district,” but then again, titles don’t mean jack shyt in MLMs.
Since I moved on, I’d forgotten all about them. I remember they came into my summer job one time, and I instantly recognized the name. They’d made their money off of me, and the one who recruited me too!
As I was typing this up, I got to thinking about them once again, and wondered how they were holding up. I saw that Nick had joined the MLM around the same time I did, albeit months earlier. They also left sooner than I did, and had moved on to a role in an industry that isn’t food service, which they’d had before the MLM. They seem to have gone through a couple roles in the years it’s been since they left the MLM, but they’ve now got years of tenure in a senior-level role w/ a company in their previous industry.
I was happy to see they’ve moved on to greener pastures, and I was happy to see they’ve made something of themselves in their old-new industry. Hopefully Nick’s been able to put their MLM era behind them, and forgive themselves for whatever mistakes they made during their involvement in it.
This is my hope for everyone who’s moved on from whatever MLMs they were involved in. Pat, Kade, and Nick all deserved better than the hollow words and empty promises the MLMs made to them, and so did you if you’ve moved on also.
Nobody deserves these horseshit asswipe companies. Fuck em all and the horses they rode in on. I hope they all go the way of Enron. They will eventually, since MLMs are an unsustainable business model. They’re a menace to society, and they’re boils on the buttcheeks of humanity.
Over to you, readers. This was a hell of a trip down memory lane, but it’s worth it. Have you known someone who was in an MLM, but moved on? Do you know what became of them? Or does this hit a bit closer to home? If so, I’m truly sorry to hear this. Either way, I’d love to hear your thoughts and takeaways, so drop it all like it’s hawt, and let’s talk.
Missed the previous installments? No worries! I gotcha covered, right here: 1, 2
