Kevin It’s hard to believe we’re coming to the end of summer, but here we are. Summer’s slowly fading into fall or autumn here in the Northern Hemisphere, and springtime’s on the horizon for you party animals in the Southern Hemisphere.
It’s the last few weeks of summer and baseball season, and that means the end of this year’s baseball games on the radio. Some ppl think baseball games on the radio are boring AF, but each to their own. I think there’s just something about em that’s kinda calming in a way, if that makes sense. I also get a sense of nostalgia, like those baseball games on the AM radio are taking me back to a different time and place.
That’s why I’ve recorded some of em. This way, I can relive those brief moments in time where I can leave all that shyt at the door, and just be.
The fair’s another one of those times where you get to leave your shyt at the door and just take it all in. No worrying about this, that, or the next, if only for a few hours. The fair’s now been over for a few weeks, and the fake tattoos I got up and down my arms on my last ticket there are finally gone. Some of em came off in the shower the first time around, w/ the help of some of my beloved Tree Hut scrub, but others practically required a fuckin belt sander to get rid of em.
Seriously, I’d love to know what’s in those tattoos to make em last that long. Maybe I could get a fake tattoo drawn up in that stuff just to freak ppl out, haha.
I loved walking home from the bus stop, or biking home from the pool and watching the sun set, w/ the classic country station on my headphones, if I was still out and about by then. Otherwise, I’d be in bed early, watching the sun set from my bedroom window, and listening to the baseball game on the radio.
I seriously wish I could’ve taken y’all w/ me to the pool, and since probably not all of us would have bikes, we could walk to the bus stop together. I wish y’all were there w/ me to watch the sun come down, the smell of our soap and shampoo from the pool showers, combined w/ that old-school Water Babies sunscreen hitting our olfactory nerves, as we all watch boaters on the river pass by us on the bridge.
I miss that already. I don’t want it to end, but in the scheme of things, it’s only for a little while. It aint forever. We’ve only hit the pause button. We’ve only come to the end of a chapter, not the whole story.
One thing’s for sure, my arms are practically caked in bug bites I’ve scratched open, and they’re super annoying. That, I won’t miss as the season turns.
Sure, there’s the new fall scented candles that everybody and their damn dog’s cranking out like it’s going outta style any minute. Bath and Body Works put out their Leaves and Sweater Weather candles, and the other candle companies have come up w/ their answer to it over the years.
I’m a huge fan of the Milkhouse Candle Company fall candles. Like Brown Butter Pumpkin, and of course, their Apple Strudel. I found out the hard way that the big butter jars don’t fit in this old side table my mom’s had since forever. I spent an afternoon cleaning it out over the summer when I got sick. There’d been a mouse infestation that I’d long since nipped in the bud, and it was time to get rid of whatever was in there.
It was old pens, odds, and ends my mom had dumped in there over the years, and some random scraps of paper by the bundle that she’d amassed. The newspapers from 2005 that she’d used to line the drawers were goners, and probably shoulda been chucked years ago.
I took some Murphy’s Oil Soap to the insides and the outside after I vacuumed out the mouse turds and the chewed up newspapers the little shits had tried to fashion into nests, before they met their untimely demise.
Hopefully those little shits spent their last few moments on earth rethinking their life choices.
I haven’t yet posted about this over on the ‘gram, but will soon. I made new drawer liners from some of the fabric she bought and never got around to using, and it worked far better than I expected. That little old side table is now home to my candle stash, the latest addition being a fall-themed candle from Aldi. I love it to bits, and I hope they make it a mainstay in their collection!
I’ve also been feeling drawn to the fall vibes in my outfits. I’ve been feeling like there oughta be a more substantial hat than my giant floppy straw beach hat that I’ve had since college, and the white cloche-style straw hat w/ a bow on the back, but not quite like the winter hats I’ve got stored away in one of my mom’s old hatboxes. There’s gotta be a happy medium between the two in my rotation.
I’ve been looking around at the felt hats at TJ Maxx, Aldi, and Ross Dress for Less. I saw one at Ross, but after walking around w/ it at the store, I ended up not getting it. Come next weekend, if it’s still there, it’s meant to be. If not, then it wasn’t meant to be. I haven’t been able to find a fall hat that matches the brown boots I got on sale at Gymboree.
Hey, the brown boots I saw this lady wearing at the store don’t even remotely come in my size, and having seen em up close, I’m not surprised. The ones I got are a similar colorway, and also a vaguely similar style that I liked online, and fell in love w/ IRL, so it works.
As much as I like the fall aesthetic, there are things I don’t like about the fall season. Historically speaking, this is the time of year when the shyt truly starts hitting the fan, and everything turns to absolute trash for me.
This is the season where I had a health scare in college that all got kickstarted from a medication I had no business being on in the first place, knowing what I know now. It’s a long story, but ended up ruining basically everything I had going for me, and the agency I was dealing w/ at the time didn’t give a rat’s ass. I still haven’t forgiven those involved in this whole mess, and have chosen to move on w/ my life instead. I’ve decided to leave that job to whatever higher power they believe in, or the universe if that doesn’t apply, if forgiveness is that important.
This is the season where the person I designated as my North Star died years ago. It was more late summer than actual fall, but their passing was in the last quarter of the year. Idk if I mentioned it in that post, but he and I never met each other. I read about him years ago during yet another low point in my life, and I’ve felt a connection w/ him ever since.
This is the season where we’re coming up on another year mark of my mom’s passing. In the past, I called it an anniversary, but after hearing about how this guy calls the day of his daughter’s murder a “year mark,” I decided that was a better term for it going forward. So, ‘year mark’ it is, and that year mark is coming up in 2 months.
I’m not looking forward to it. I’m thankful that my mom’s no longer here, and her suffering is over, that’s for sure. Either way, I’m not looking forward to whatever else is in store for me, since I have a feeling the other shoe’s gonna drop but good.
It’s always happened that way before, so why should now be any different? I guess luck goes in cycles, and there’s only so long someone can have the luck in their favor before it’s their turn to be in the hot seat, and the fates pick up the string to snip, just like they did in Hercules. That’s gotta be how it works.
On the weight loss front, I’m seeing results once again after getting back on the wagon officially. I started seeing results the following month after an urgent care visit earlier this year. I had no idea just how easy it is to fall back into old ways, which means it was probably super easy to get me into this mess in the first place.
I promised myself when I lost the weight, that I would never see that number again, and that if I did, it would be for a nanosecond in the scheme of things. A nanosecond it was, and that number’s a good 30 pounds behind me. There’s no turning back. I got through this before, and I can do it again.
I guess that also means that since I got through those horrible fall seasons in the past, I can get through this one too. I’ve decided to start following a college football team this season. It’s one I used to dog on in secret in the past, since it felt like everybody was obsessed w/ them. On the other hand, it’s one that an old friend of mine was a huge fan of. Their family loved that team, and every time I see merch from that team, I think of them.
I also think of someone I recently learned about during one of my fair trips this year. They’re not super famous, but they made their mark on the local scene all the same. Maybe they can keep me company as we move forward through this season. I’ve found the station that broadcasts the games, so it’ll give me something to look forward to. Maybe even I’ll record some of those games too!
Let’s get through this season together, shall we?
Missed the previous installments? No worries! I gotcha covered, right here: 36, 35, 34, 33, 32
