Kevin If you’ve lost some weight in the past, or are losing weight now, you may have noticed that things started changing for you outside of your clothing size. Like social changes after weight loss, for instance. This is especially true if you’ve lost any weight north of 100 pounds (like yours truly has done).
It is a sad truth in life that there are people out there who either can’t or won’t see past the way someone looks, and lets that be their determining factor on who to hang out with.
It is also a sad truth in life that there are people who have preconceived ideas about the way some people look, and assign them attributes accordingly, whether or not that’s actually the case, if that makes sense.
One of the things that comes up a lot on dedicated forums and message boards is the social changes after losing weight, or the shifts in someone’s social circle. I’ve seen instances where people will post about their experiences in their interactions with others they considered friends as they moved forward in their weight loss goals.
One story still stands with me today. I won’t post the specifics, but this person’s friend group started talking a million kinds of shyt about the progress they made in their weight loss journey. At the time they posted it, they were still a ways off from meeting their goals. Members of this person’s friend group slung passive-aggressive insults toward their progress, and they were totally dismissive about it.
Another poster’s friend group actively excluded them, even though they never talked about their weight loss or mentioned anything about their lifestyle choices.
In my case, my social circle changed too. Most of my weight loss was before the pandemic started, and as I got closer to my goals, we went into lockdown.
That was the last I saw of them since then.
Looking back, there were a couple people I talked to in that social circle who were starting to grow distant from me, and one of them even lashed out at me.
Many of them were overweight or obese, or at least were at the time I was in their lives. One had weight loss surgery, and lost quite a bit of weight, only to regain most of it back. I had come into their lives when they were losing the weight, and I thought it was so inspiring.
I was like, dang, I wish I could do that!
Another friend of mine was one I’ve known since we were in middle school. Life took us in separate directions, and last I heard, they got married, and they’ve moved to a different part of town than the one we lived in, and I still live in. Before the pandemic started, I saw them on the bus, and while their stop was coming up, we picked up where we left off and made some small talk.
I miss them.
In my case, it was the circumstances that solidified the social changes after I lost the weight, but my weight loss definitely kickstarted the process for a few of them. For me, I’m always happy to welcome the ones who were a part of my life before I lost the weight back, at least this more recent social circle. So long as there wasn’t any seriously egregious or deviant behavior, I’m always happy to pick up where we left off and reconnect sometime.
For them, the door’s always open.
There was another group of people who were a part of my life before I lost the weight, and before this cohort that I wouldn’t let back into my life at this point. They were the kind who didn’t think twice about mistreating others, and looking back, I’ve got a feeling deep down that it would be a total 180 if we were to meet for the first time now.
How do you cope with social changes after weight loss? I don’t know your specific circumstances, so it’s hard to say definitively. Only you can decide whether or not you’d like to let them back into your life when the universe sees fit to do so.
I will say, it’s always difficult when people up and leave you, especially when you’ve been nothing but nice to them, and would’ve totally supported them if your roles were reversed. The reason why is because what you thought you had with them meant something to you.
If it didn’t mean anything to you, you wouldn’t be upset, right?
Moving on from the ones in my life who lashed out at me as I lost the weight took time, and as I moved forward, I realized that it was probably for the best.
I’ve come to view it as the universe showing those people the door and making room for a new social circle at some point down the road, when it’s safe to be a part of things again.
Working towards goals and succeeding, or coming close enough to it as far as others may be concerned, always tends to out others for who and what they really are. This doesn’t have to be weight-related, it could be taking up a new hobby, a new business venture, whatever.
It really sucks when people in your life turn out to do you like that, more so if you’ve known them for years. They may not have been friends, but it still sucks at the end of the day. Been down that road before myself, but that’s a story for another time.
Over to you, readers. Have you worked towards any goals, whether it was weight related or not, and found that your social life changed? How did you deal with it? Drop it like it’s hot below, and let’s talk.
A graphic to pin for Pinterest if you’d like:
