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Brussels Sprouts Stink Like Wet Farts!

A decorative cover image for the posts discussing my weight loss story.

Ok, the title’s a bit click-baity, but just run with me here. I was over on LinkedIn the other day, and someone was talking about how they weren’t crazy about Brussels sprouts. I won’t reveal their actual name out of respect for them, since I doubt they’d want me blasting them all over the internet without their say-so. Anyways, they talked about how they’d tried them several different ways, and just couldn’t get on with them.

Fair enough. They gave it their best shot, and that’s all that matters at the end of the day. But, the talk about Brussels sprouts took me back, big time.

I used to feel the same way about Brussels sprouts, and felt that way for a long time. I remember how my mom and I would go to the store when I was a kid, and we’d get stuff from the deli when we weren’t hitting drive-thrus.

There was only one thing I really liked in that deli, the chicken and noodles, and that was because there wasn’t really any way they could screw it up.

Sometimes the deli would have Brussels sprouts, but it wasn’t often. When they did, my mom would always get the medium container of them. The smell emanating from that deli container wasn’t obvious in the store, but when we’d leave, the Brussels sprouts container would stink up the car.

As soon as we’d get home, we’d sit in my mom’s room and watch TV. As soon as my mom opened that container, the smell grew in intensity.

It seriously smelled like wet farts. An onslaught of them, to be exact. They even looked like it, too.

In all honesty, that deli’s Brussels sprouts always smelled like wet farts. I have no idea how they cooked them to achieve that effect. My guess is they probably boiled the dickens out of them, probably short of boiling them into primordial ooze, similar to the industrial slop served in school cafeterias across the country.

Yep, the verdict was in. I hated Brussels sprouts, big time.

The store went out of business several years ago, and the store that’s taken over the place has identical deli offerings. They haven’t had Brussels sprouts in their deli lineup in awhile, which means they’ve probably phased them out. No loss, imo.

The last time I saw them, I had an epiphany. That deli probably sucked donkey balls at cooking Brussels sprouts. If the veggies in the deli are anything to go by, they’re cooked in the most basic way possible.

That was the only way I thought we could have Brussels sprouts as a kid. Until I came of age and started college, that is.

After we moved to our old house, I found a recipe for roasted Brussels sprouts, and out of curiosity, I decided to try it. I had my doubts that it would turn out any good.

The worst it could do was stink up the house, the way I figured it.

I expected the smell of wet farts to permeate the house, but as I was working on a term paper for one of my classes, a smell resembling popcorn hit my olfactory nerves.

This? This is the same stuff from the store’s deli that always smelled like wet farts? I couldn’t believe it. All these years, I let that janky deli ruin me for Brussels sprouts. Well, no more! No wonder I thought I hated Brussels sprouts and wrote them off like that.

That recipe went on repeat for years for both my mom and me. My mom even passed it along to a couple of her coworkers from the nursing home at some point.

I remember making a batch of them, split up across two sheet pans since our old house only had an apartment stove, on several occasions. Before I lost the weight, I remember eating the whole batch. True story.

I had plans to make some for the holiday season this year, like we did last year. Sadly, that ended up not happening. However, I’ve got plans to make some in the near future, now that I’ve finally freed up one of my larger clamp jars, haha.

Besides, I’ve got some sauces living in the fridge for way too long, and I’d like to use ’em up.

But back to that talk over on LinkedIn. There are some things I’m not a fan of, and I’ve tried more than one way to like them. It just wasn’t happening, same as the original commenter is with Brussels sprouts. There’s someone over on YouTube who hates broccoli, I won’t say who it is. If you think you know who it is, I want you to leave them alone as a favor to me (and as a favor to them). I used to hate broccoli until I had it in a stir fry in 3rd grade. I lived for those Create-a-Meal frozen stir fries back then, lol.

The point is, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, or whatever veggie one hates isn’t the end-all, be-all of living a healthy lifestyle or a diet overhaul. Hate one veggie? Gave it your best shot? No worries! The best part about being an adult is having the agency to set those aside, and move onward and upward to the next one. There’s many more out there waiting to be discovered, tried, and savored instead.

Life’s too short to waste it trying to make yourself like something you don’t, anyway.

Over to you, readers? What veggies did you think you hated as a kid, but turned out to like later on, or learned to like when prepared a different way than you had them before? I’d love to hear your thoughts and takeaways, so drop ’em like they’re hot below, and let’s talk.

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