Spammers’ Showcase, #8

A decorative image with a white background, green and pink sketchy flowers in the corners, with text that reads "The Mission Within presents Spammers' Showcase."

Welcome back to another installment of the Spammers’ Showcase, where I take screenshots of comments from spammers. None of them have been published here on the site, and they won’t be. Instead, I’ll be taking screenshots for you to share in on the fun of laughing at them. As always, I’ve obscured all identifying details in case there’s someone real who has these credentials.

A screenshot of a spammer's comment, with identifying details obscured, and a name that reads "SCVapors". The comment reads "Has anyone ever been to Smokers Choice Bremerton Vapor Store in 1930 Rainbow Drive #A?"


Great question, “SCVapors.” No, I haven’t been there, and I highly doubt any of my readers have either. See, here on this blog, we’re all about self-improvement, and I stress the importance of a healthy lifestyle. This janky shyt doesn’t fit into it. Bye, Felicia. Now, go pound sand.

A screenshot of a spammer's comment, with identifying details obscured behind green scribbles, with a name that reads "how to properly us sex toys." Their comment reads "Can someone recommend branded toys? Thanks xxx"

I’m not sure how one would properly “us” secks toys, d00d. However, one can use their choice of secks utensils any way they’d like. Like having glitter dick fights instead of sword fights, shove ’em up their noses, what have you. Why, I bet you could even use ’em as a foot roller after a four-mile walk in 1-inch heels.

True story, foot rollers would’ve worked great when I walked over to a Halloween party at a neighborhood restaurant. Too bad I left my stash of glass Coke bottles behind at the old house, haha. I wore my 1-inch black Mary-Jane style heels with a little ruffle on ’em, and I probably should’ve gone with my bike instead.

Now, we can definitely recommend “Branded Toys” over cheapie white-label stuff made from materials probably banned under the Geneva Convention, sold under a bazillion aliases from janky fly-by-night sellers. Of course, we’d have to know your budget, and what you’re looking for in a “Branded Toy.”

A screenshot of a spammer's comment, with identifying info obscured in green. The name reads "Karin Robison." The text reads "Do you want more visits to your site? I succeeded, and it works with this." The spammer included a website of ill-repute in a shortened link.

You better believe I want more visits to my site. “Karin Robison,” and I’m stoked af that you succeeded in getting more traffic to your site. However, that site of yours is super sus. If given the choice between SEO and that fishy-looking site you listed, I think I’ll stick to the good ol’ fashioned SEO instead.

A screenshot of a spammer's comment, with identifying details obscured in green. The name reads "Xmc". The text reads. "I really like this post a great deal. I will certainly be back. Hope which i will be able to read more helpful posts then. Will be sharing your understanding wonderful my associates."

Why, thanks so much, “Xmc.” I’m happy to hear you liked this post “a great deal.” Cool name, by the way. I mean that! There’s just something about X names that make ’em that much cooler. I’m dead serious on that one. All that aside, you’ll definitely “be able to read more helpful posts then.” Go ahead and share my “understanding wonderful my associates.” However, I think you’ve missed some words here.

A screenshot of a spammer comment, using the name "Fashion Styles," with information obscured in green. The text reads "whoah this weblog is excellent i really like reading your articles. Keep up the great paintings. You recognize, many individuals are searching round for this information, you can aid them greatly." Under this, the options read "Approve, Reply Quick Edit, Edit, Spam, Trash"

Why, if it ain’t our ol’ pal “Fashion Styles.” I’ve seen this same spammer come up onto my blog and into my comments queue, time and time again. Fashion Styles, you’re like a turd that won’t flush. However, Fashion Styles, I’m glad you “really like reading my articles.” I’ll definitely “keep up the great paintings.” (I’ve actually been wanting to get into painting, by the way. For real.). You claim that “many individuals are searching round for this information,” and that I can “aid them greatly.” I don’t recognize that, by the way. Maybe someday I will.

A spammer's comment with the name "Elite Vapor," with identifying information obscured in green. The text reads "Has anyone ever been to Pahrump Valley Vapor Store Ecig Shop in 8480 W Hillsborough Ave Suite 8480?"

Fuck outta here with that shiz, “Elite Vapor.” Like I told your fellow vape hucksters, I’ve never been there, and have no plans to. I don’t think my readers would be interested either. You see, I’m all about promoting wellness, self-care, and self-improvement. This shyt doesn’t fit in it.

On a more serious note, readers, if you vape, quit. Do whatever it takes, and let’s put this crappy industry out of business.

A spammer comment with a name that reads "how many mg cbd for small dogs," with identifying information obscured in green. The text reads "what dose of cbd oil for cats." Under this, the options to "approve, reply, quick edit, edit, spam, trash" are visible.

I’m not a professional or a vet, and I don’t play one on TV. Even if I was, it would be irresponsible and unethical to give you personalized advice over the internet. So I’ll say this: idk “how many mg cbd for small dogs,” nor do I know “what dose of cbd oil for cats.” I have my doubts that this stuff is safe for pets based on what I’ve read, but this is really something you need to be asking your vet about.

A spammer's comment with a name that reads "" The text reads, "Best view I have ever seen!"

Thanks for the vote of confidents, “Shiatsu-Web.” I’m glad to hear that this was the “best view I have ever seen!” However, I’ve seen many other spammers give the very same comment, so maybe you could start being a little more original in your spam content? Just sayin’.

That’s a wrap for today’s Spammer Showcase installment. Tune in for the next one featuring a whole slew of spammers from one domain. It’ll be great. You won’t wanna miss it.

Over to you, readers. I’d love to hear your thoughts and takeaways, so drop ’em like they’re hot below, and let’s get started.

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