A decorative image with a white background, green and pink sketchy flowers in the corners, with text that reads "The Mission Within presents Spammers' Showcase."

I’m sure you readers are no strangers to the scourge of spammers wasting space in your email inboxes, and if you have your own blog or website, wasting space in your comments section. Today’s post is the third installment in my Spammers’ Showcase series. If you’re new here, I’m a firm believer in the adage that laughter is the best medicine, so this is where we get to laugh at the turds who spam my inbox and my comments sections. Some of them are bots, others are lamebrains with way too much time on their hands, and either way, probably spam dozens of inboxes and comment sections every day. Whatever the source, none of the spammy comments were approved, so you won’t find them on the blog.

As always, I’ve blocked out email addresses and IP addresses just so we’re playing it safe. Gotta cover my bases like Cal Ripken, Jr., haha.

Then feel free to come back anytime! We need the laffs.

Freebies? Awesome! What kind of free stuff are we talking about here, “free stuff online?” Asking for a friend. Anyway, how many more pics do you want here? Enough to wreck your computer to oblivion? Ask and ye shall receive, nitwit.

Last I checked, donations were always free.

What kind of “few general things” did you wanna remark on? We need specifics here, “free car donations.” BTW, butts are for ashtrays.

This totes doesn’t sound janky or fishy at all… /s.

Thanks for the vote of confidence here, “professional disinfecting services near me.” I’ll totally keep you in mind next time I’m in the market for any disinfecting services. Hypothetically speaking, and for future reference, is it possible to have a formerly piss-soaked twin-size mattress disinfected if one already did the work wringing it out in the backyard?

Sooper legit website here, I pinky-swear…said no one ever.


What view are we talking about here? The view from the Grand Canyon, the view from my bedroom window, or what?

I’m a she, but to be fair, this isn’t common as a given name for girls. Nonetheless, what lovely sentiments, though.




What RSS trouble are you running into, “crave freebies?” All ya gotta do is click the unsubscribe button on whatever RSS feed you’re using, if I’m understanding this right. If that doesn’t work, maybe the RSS feed’s technical team can help sort this out.

Go peddle that janky crap elsewhere.





What “good points” are you talking about? BTW, if you’re looking to drum up customers looking to buy goods no doubt made from crap banned under the Geneva Convention, this is no way to go about it. Just sayin’.

Go home, Fashion Styles. You’re drunk.



Readers, I’d like to introduce you to a fashion and student loan expert in incoherent gibberish calling themselves “fashion styles.” A true Renaissance-type in the making, right here. Tell us, what are our alternatives between “federal student loan as well as a private education loan?” Regale us with your expertise.

I’ve never talked about credit cards here, lol.


Oh, joy! A hairstylist and financial expert all in one. I’m sure they exist in the real world, and in all seriousness, I’d love to have that kind of diversified knowledge for sure. But what credit card “in particular” is this? And what kind of “every discipline” are we talking about? Academia? A credit card that’s all the rage in academia, that’s a new one.

Jesus H. Christ and his brother Lloyd, it’s you again. Like a turd that won’t flush. 

Thanks for your offer, but at this time or the foreseeable future, I’m not in the market for guest posters for my “weblog.” Especially not spammers, or repeat offender spammers like you. But for argument’s sake, what kind of material would you write?

Couldn’t use the contact form to hawk crappy MLM vitamins, so I guess the comment section will do, eh?

Well hello back, “Elsa Dugdale.” Who are the Olympians and professional athletes using these overpriced vitamins? And yes, we no longer wish to hear from you. How’s this for a “reply to this email?”

Hmm, where have we heard this before?

Oh, “Huey”. Spamming people’s inboxes and comment sections is no way to hawk face masks and accessories and make bank off of the pandemic. Like we told “Elsa,” we no longer wish to hear from you either. Bye, Felicia.

This butt weasel isn’t just a spammer, they’re a scammer to boot. 


Nice try, “Den,” you jerk fuck scammer. But seriously, how many others have you emailed this to, and how many of them fell for it? While most spammers’ drivel is hilarious, this one’s disgusting, since someone out there’s clearly fallen for this. Otherwise, they wouldn’t bother sending this out. It saddens me, and it burns my buns just thinking about it. Readers and aspiring bloggers, if you get a message like this in your inbox, ignore it. I can pretty much guarantee that you’re likely up to date on your domain hosting, and no legit domain hosting company will ever do business like this. If you’ve fallen for this or similar messages, end all contact with the sender, block them, and report what happened to the IC3 and your local attorney general (or equivalent in your area). Even if you never sent any money, it’s still something they need to know about, if for no other reason than to get it on record to establish a pattern. You could also consider sending their information my way, and I’ll waste their time for you.

That being said, never click on any spammer links, or anything that feels even the slightest bit fishy. Just send it to your trash folder, click that delete button, block the sender, and keep going about your day. Over to you, readers. Got any amusing or memorable spam messages in your inbox? No screenshots required, btw, but drop it below, and let’s talk.

For more laughs, you can check out the previous installments: 1, 2.

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