Janky Job Jamboree #1: Job Posting Red Flags

If you’ve been in the job market for any length of time, whether it’s for a day, a week, a month, a year, or worse yet, even longer, then you’ve probably come across job postings or job vacancies that made you go ‘hmmm.’ You may have come across some during your job search that ended up being entirely different than what was advertised, and others that didn’t even come close to matching the description of the category it’s in.

Welcome to the first installment of Janky Job Jamboree, a new series in the style of Spammers’ Showcase, where I get screenshots of actual job postings from a variety of sources, chock full of job posting red flags and fuckin’ flamethrowers. We’ll talk about the postings, show you what to look for in order to steer clear of them, and have some fun while we’re at it.

Translation: I’m roasting these sacks of nuts, partially out of revenge for the way companies like this added to the torment I was already dealing with during the last year of my mom’s life in 2021, but more importantly, as a public service to vulnerable, desperate job seekers.

As always, all identifying details will be obscured as my favor to the companies who posted these dumpster fire so-called “opportunities.” This includes the company name, logos, and any specific locations listed. If they’ve listed a generic location, like a country name, then it stays.

If you think you know who they are, as a favor to me, I want you to leave them alone. Don’t contact them, don’t even name them in the comments. We can call them Company 1, Company 2, etc. We’re not gonna sully this blog with any mention of their actual names, whether they’re good, bad, both, or neither.

But honestly, how good can a company really be if these are the kind of job postings they’re putting out? Asking for a friend.

On the flip side, if you’re the one who posted these opportunities, I’d love to hear your side of the story, in all seriousness. If you don’t feel like you can comment, you’re welcome to reach out through the contact form off to the side. Full disclosure, I will be posting your side of the story.  However, I’ll leave out any identifying details as my solid to you.

Without further ado, let’s get started.

Company 1

First up, we’ve got us a Junior Copy Writer role at Company 1. Awesome, let’s take a look, and see what they’re all about. Junior Copy Writer, entry-level, so far, so good. 34 takers in one day as of the date of this screenshot. That’s not looking too promising, but that’s just me.

A “Junior Copy Writer,” yet demanding at least five years of experience. This role is listed as being “entry-level.” There’s no way they posted it in this category on accident. An accident is picking up Corn Chex when you meant to get Rice Chex for a new batch of muddy buddies. (True story on that one, btw.) This is on purpose. In this role, we’ll be “writing everything from headlines to experiential to emails.” What’s the “experiential” content we’ll be writing? This can mean anything and nothing at the same time, so whose experience are we talking about? The users, or what?

“Seeing a self-starter, organized, collaborative; someone who takes feedback well.” Oof. It doesn’t look like whoever wrote this even bothered to edit it.

Pro tip: the word you want is “seeking.”

Then we do a total 180 and see this “someone who takes feedback well.” Ok, this can be fairly innocuous, depending on how it’s delivered. However, I can’t help but suspect that their idea of what counts as “feedback” includes mockery, ridicule, bullying, and other wholly unacceptable and unprofessional behavior toward their submissions, since they specified that the candidate needed to take that feedback “well.”

Since this job poster deliberately listed a role requiring a bare minimum of five years of experience in this arena as “entry-level,” and with the knowledge that there are companies out there who use the term to describe their pay rate in a job posting, it seems as though this role will be wildly underpaying for the workload and the demands they’re asking for. To the company that posted this, shame on you for underpaying your employees like this. I hope it comes back to haunt you but good.

Company 2

Onward to our next contender, a Healthcare Digital Content Writer role. It looks like this role’s remote, and with a fairly decent-sized company. 19 takers in one week as of the date this screenshot was taken. Hoo, boy, this isn’t a good sign.

Before we hit that “Apply Now” button, let’s see what this company’s all about.

Wow, we get to pick whether we want to be on-site, remote, or hybrid?! Sounds like a case of someone throwing whatever they can think of at the wall in the hopes that something will stick in order to get any takers here.

Someone’s got a favorite word, don’t they? It’s ok. I’ve got several favorite words, so join the club. I’m not being facetious here, I promise!

Nothing like beating a dead horse while romanticizing being monstrously overworked and hideously underpaid, eh? In this role, we’ll get to interview industry experts, “weave” this and that, remain true to customer brands, and do a lot of visualizing. “Vagueness,” meaning “don’t expect us to help you. You can figure it out for yourself.”

Drive your employees into the ground, and expect them to duke it out on their own. Way to set people up for failure, you dolts.

But wait, there’s more!

CMS experience, PM software experience, Google Analytics, Office, and multiple years’ worth at that. If I didn’t know better, I’d think this was at least a mid-career, possibly a junior management-level role. But nope. All of this, for an “entry-level” role. Yes, this indeed showed up when I limited the search to entry-level roles, and there’s no way this was an accident.

BTW, this company’s reviews are legit horrifying. I won’t get into them, but I’ll say that there’s multiple allegations going back years indicating a toxic work environment in some way or another. 19 desperate, vulnerable job seekers looking for someone to give them a chance, and companies like this take utter advantage of them. Shame on them, times a thousand.

Company 3

Let’s see what we’ve got here. A Field Marketing Content Writer opening with a super-obscure company I’ve never heard of. Looks like this can be full-time or contract, or both full-time contract. And they’re “Urgently hiring!”

Great, because I’m “Urgently Seeking!”

Someone sure needs an ass in that seat, don’t they?

Someone’s looking for a content writer in a super-specific niche, and looking for someone full-time or contract. Maybe keeping their options open?

I stand corrected. This is a contract-to-hire role! Right on. The whole “try before you buy” thing. Got it. Not taking on work visa seekers, ok. Not everyone’s in a place where they can. Let’s see what we’ll be doing in this role.

Collaborate, research, and assisting others. Ok, fine. But how do we “proactively draft engaging content?” Are we supposed to be mind-readers here? We need specifics, honey. “Some kind” of insurance background? Either you know what type of insurance background and how much of it you want these applicants to have, or don’t bother.

Wow, tell us you’re a racist, prejudiced mofo without actually spelling it out. Denigrating work visa seekers, how fuckin’ despicable. It’s fine if you can’t take on work visa seekers, but there’s no reason to be a jerk about it.

Fun fact: I found something on the company’s review page indicating that they have a history of expecting their employees to work off the clock. Tres lame. Anyone looking to get a work visa has officially dodged a bullet, and besides, they can do so much better than this dumbass company.

In order to put up with you butt weasels for more than 10 seconds, I’m expecting 250 bucks an hour. How ’bout them apples?

I originally had plans for a fourth job posting, but since it turned out to be way longer than I remembered it being, let’s call this a wrap. Over to you, readers. Have you found any job postings that made you go ‘hmmm’? Have you applied for them? I hope not, but if you did, what was the outcome? I’d love to hear your thoughts and takeaways, so drop ’em like they’re hot below, and let’s talk.