Kevin It’s been a rough past couple years in the time that’s passed since this blog officially came to be, and while I’ve shared some things, what I’ve shared is only the tip of the iceberg. It’s also been a rough summer, but in a different way compared to the clusterfuck of what happened last year.
I’ll take this past summer’s downsides over that shitty 2022 year any day. It’s time to revive the My Story post series from the dead.
As the school year ended last year, and the graduation ceremonies moved forward w/ kids starting the next chapter of their lives, I started my summer job. I made damn sure I had something lined up for the summer before the school year ended.
Even if it meant multiple all-nighters in a row, all the while running all over at my day job, then so be it. What happened last year’s never gonna happen again. I’ll make damn sure of it, if it’s the last thing I do.
The hours were long, 8-10 hour days, 5 days a week. It’s better than the alternative.
It also ended up being far more sedentary, which basically goes w/ the territory of a desk job. It’s something I never had before, since the desk jobs I applied at made it clear I’d never be good enough for them, even if I was a NASA astronaut.
I was a floater, meaning I’d fill in on an as-needed basis. After my month-long (paid!) training came to an end, it was time to travel and work on my goal to build the biggest book of business possible.
The presence of calorie-bomb junk food was a common occurrence in the break rooms, including delivered stuff from national brand pizza chains.
One of those ended up being what my mom made her literal be-all, end-all, more than once a week, for the last 10 years of her life until her illness kicked into high gear and forced her into retirement. That restaurant’s pizza was also a common presence in the house when I was a kid, and it ended up being part of what got me into this mess in the first place.
The sight of it, and the unmistakable smell of it brought back some memories.
Bit by bit, I’d help myself to some of the junk food, since I never brought a lunch in the first place. Over the summer, I noticed my favorite jean shorts getting tighter.
Maybe things are just running smaller these days. Target did change their sizing scheme for some of their brands in recent months, after all.
As I fell off the wagon, and felt more exhausted as I’d work those 8-10 hour days, I also noticed a couple new swimsuits I got fitting real small. Small enough to where I decided I wouldn’t be leaving the house in any of it, and instead went for the ones I got when I was still somewhat early on in my weight loss mission a few years back.
The pink overall dress I picked up a few years ago when I went to pick up some new undies as I got closer to where I wanted to be didn’t even come close to buttoning up around my ribcage.
The multicolored dress I found on sale at Ross Dress for Less after my training while killing time before the bus arrived didn’t even remotely fit. Neither did the life jacket I had my eye on the previous summer for when I got a job.
Maybe those are just running small these days too, I assumed. This lime-green dress w/ ruffles also didn’t even come close to fitting.
Maybe that was just due to my injury, since getting stuff over my head’s a total bitch w/ my arm.
Before I go too much further, I should also mention that I’m 5’1, which is below average height here in the U.S. On that note, what’s considered a ‘healthy’ weight/size/measurement will largely depend on how tall someone is.
The summer came to an end, and my main day job started back up again. I took on another responsibility there, which meant I had to get a physical for it. I had no insurance, and won’t for the remainder of the month, so the free clinics it is.
I went through the list, and tried a place open on the weekends that was close to where a kid I went to school w/ lived when we were kids.
Turns out they haven’t had a free clinic in years, so that means the list is outdated. I crossed it off and walked back to the bus stop. I felt so tired, but pushed through it and went back home. I had to pick up something and drop something else off, so I called another free clinic.
I was in luck. They were open! I’d be there in like half an hour.
I got off the bus at the community college, as the late summer heat cranked up. It had changed since I was there in the aughts.
The fair was over, and there was a baseball game later today. The oldies show on the AM station came in w/ some interference on my headphones, but the reception was mostly decent.
I arrived at the other place, only to find out they closed early due to a lousy turnout w/ nobody showing up.
Just my luck.
Onto the next guy on the list. It’s either nick off work early later in the week for a location 2 buses out, or overload myself earlier in the week for another location 2 buses out, and risk not getting home until late.
Let’s go w/ the lesser of 2 evils, and just get this shyt over w/. The ‘earlier in the week’ option it is.
I got off the bus at a location in a part of town I rarely go to. I waited outside, since the location wasn’t the most ideal for my liking. I had some water, and the breeze provided some welcome relief from the heat.
I finally gave in and went inside to cool off, and wait inside for the clinic to start. I brought in the forms for whoever the doctor would be to fill out.
The clinic team arrived, and set up shop. I was the first one there, and the first one seen. This was what I’d hoped for, so I could get home earlier than I’d originally planned.
Time to get on the scale. Whatever the number is, at least I’ll know.
Aaaand, it was one I wasn’t liking at all. I’d gained back more weight than I thought I did. It was a number I haven’t seen in 5 1/2 years, and a number I was at in 5th grade.
It also wasn’t my highest weight, not by a long shot, so there’s that in my favor.
That number’s information I needed to know. While I wished I’d caught it sooner, I feel like it’s better late than never, like the last time I tried to lose weight.
The good news is, this is a number I’ll never see again after today. If I do, it’ll be for a nanosecond going forward.
No wonder things were no longer fitting me like I remembered! Now it all made sense. Time to get back in the saddle, and back on the high-protein, low-carb 1200 calorie diet from 5 1/2 years ago.
I’m gonna turn this around, I vowed to the nurses and the doctor. Starting today!
I walked out w/ the papers done and ready for the next day. I waited outside for the bus, and to kill some time, I walked to another stop in order to get more steps in for the fitness tracker on my phone.
I hit the step count goal by the time the bus came.
Then came a biometric screening from a healthcare agency as a wellness initiative early in the month. I forgot to sign up for it, but thankfully they were taking walk-ins. They knew I wasn’t some rando off the street, so I duked it out.
They also weighed me, and while the number still was still high, it was down 10 from the weight recorded at the free clinic.
I’ll never see this number again either, if I got anything to say about it. The dress I had on was tighter than I remembered it being at that point, but it still fit.
It’ll be a different story soon, at the rate I’m going, I reminded myself. This didn’t happen overnight, so I won’t be getting outta this overnight either.
I’m in it to win it.
I make the right choices to get me back where I’d like to be.
I found that Evsie dress from Ross, and tried it on for funsies. If it still doesn’t fit, I can always throw it up on Poshmark. If it doesn’t yet fit the way I’d like it to, then it’ll fit soon.
Aaaand, it fit. I’ll be damned. Sure, it was a bit tight around the boobs, but that’s only cuz I didn’t have a bra on, which I expected would be the case. It’ll act differently w/ a bra on. Things always do.
It’s also a bit on the short side, but that may also change as I move forward re-losing the weight.
I’m not quite ready to try the lime-green dress again. Not just yet. Maybe I’ll revisit it this weekend at some point, and see where I’m at w/ that. I’d really like to wear it soon.
If I still can’t get into it, when all is said and done, I have an idea on how to modify it for my injury, since I got it on mega-clearance anyways. The lump from my injury’s more and more noticeable once again, and the ruffles on it’ll hopefully hide the worst of it.
Jesus H. Christ on a school bus, whoever decided women’s and girls’ dresses needed buttons and zippers up the back oughta be keelhauled as a public service.
I’m also back in that pink overall dress. It’s tighter on me than I’d like it to be, but that’ll change soon. Just gotta remind myself that up until I got this thing, there was a time where it didn’t even fit at all.
As luck would have it, my period came early. Like, a week early, and royally fucked up my original plans. I remember that’s how it played out the last time I was at this point in my weight loss mission, so I wasn’t too surprised this time around.
I’ll be back on track next month. I always am, knock on wood.
Here’s hoping I’m back in my snowpants in time for winter, and hoping that my coat fits better than it did a year ago. That’s a good short-term goal to work toward.
It’s so easy to overlook weight regain, and it’s so easy to rationalize it away too. I won’t give up this time. Let’s do this.
Missed the previous installments? No worries! I gotcha, right here: 3, 2, 1
