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Spammers’ Showcase, #4

Welcome to the fourth installment of the Spammers’ Showcase, where we have some fun with spammers and laugh at the stupid shyt they say and do. There’s an old saying that laughter is the best medicine. Idk about the “best” medicine part, but it does wonders for mental, physical, and emotional health for sure. Without further ado, I’ve got some more gems from bots or people with way too much time on their hands. As always, I’ve blocked out all IP addresses and email addresses as a precaution.

Off the shell? I use “off the chain,” but to each their own.

 

 

 

 

Tell us moar about these “off the shell SEO plans” to elevate rankings in one month, “Chade.” I want my SEO plans and rankings to be off the chain here. I may wanna do an online course about it sometime. No, I’m not clicking that seedy link you gave me, either.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In two-part harmony for your viewing pleasure, lolz.

Well, hello back, “Larry Torres” of “Biz Line of Credit.” I’m doing well, and my business is indeed doing “Great.” If I’m understanding this crap right, you’re basically giving away money, since you’re claiming to be a “Direct Lender” able to approve my loan today and fund it tomorrow. Yes or yes? Then hook me up! I’ve got bills to play catch-up on while caring for a sick relative.

BTW, the domain pictured was registered in February 2021. It redirects to a janky loan site registered almost a year earlier. The way I figure it, any company that feels like they have to resort to spamming people’s inboxes like it’s going out of style probably sucks donkey balls anyway.

Hey, didn’t your colleague “Chade” just send me the same thing? Y’all need to start communicating w/ each other at your sleazy company, lol.

Hey, this sounds familiar! Nice try “Yezenia,” formerly known as “Chade.” According to the Whois information, these butt weasels hawking shady SEO services are in Australia.

I’m well aware, you pedantic dolt. If you’d bothered to read further, you’d have seen that “Laff” is a TV channel name.

Out of all the “silly mistakes” on my website (i.e., “shyt,” “shiz,” “moar,” etc.), you chose to obsess over “Laff?!” Jesus Hopalong Christ and his brother Lloyd, get a hobby. From the way this nitwit puts it, mistakes are unavoidable pests like those grody brown marmorated stinkbugs that swarmed my old house every fall, haha. Off my site, damn mistakes!

Just so you know, “Kelly,” Laff isn’t a spelling mistake. It’s the name of an over-the-air network TV channel owned by Katz Broadcasting subsidiary Scripps. I’ve got my opinions about Laff, but I’ll save those for another time. I’ve got spammers to roast here, lol.

Like the snake-oil hucksters of the 1880s, they always travel to the next town after they’re caught after their crappy wares failed to live up to the big promises they made.

Hi back, “Antje.” I’m not currently in the market for an overpriced, cheap af “body posture corrector.” I can go hit up Walgreens for free if that changes, though.

That does it, “Larry.” Idk how many others you’ve sent this to, or how many have fallen for this, but hopefully the number of those in the latter category is zero.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JFC, you again. “Larry,” you’re seriously like a turd that won’t flush. No worries, “Larry.” Your days in operation as a scammer are numbered. Your domain host seems to be one of those that actually cares about what their services are being used for, and Svetoslav, the great guy in the sales department I talked to was very much concerned when I showed him what I dug up on you. Report’s a-comin’ to the abuse team at Siteground. In the meantime, get fucked and pound sand, “Larry.”

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