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Tales from the Search Engines, #1

A decorative image with a dark green background and flowers on the sides, with text that reads "The Mission Within Tales from the Search Engines."

For the longest time, this blog has flown under the radar in obscurity, with very few, if any readers. I’ll admit, it sometimes felt like I was screaming into an endless void, and while the peace and quiet was oddly comforting to me, Google and the other search engines are starting to pick up on it. As a fun little series, I’m making today’s post the first in “Tales from the Search Engines.”

First things first, I want to make it clear that I won’t be making fun of any of the serious questions or concerns people search for, only to find their way here. The ones from spammers and scammers, however, are fair game as far as I’m concerned.

Any and all personally identifying information will be left out regardless of who originated these searches out of respect for them. All search terms will be in no particular order, with like search terms grouped into one entry. Without further ado, let’s get started.

“fomo bakery” and “fomo baking co”

Since these two are similar to each other, referring to FOMO Bakery. If you’re new here, I reviewed them a few months back, and like I mentioned in the post, getting that package in the mail at the new house the day we moved was a really great surprise for me. It was a long, difficult, and grueling move, and that package of cookies was a major day-brightener.

Seriously, that company will always have a place in my heart, and those were some damn good cookies to boot. Give ’em a try sometime. I guarantee you, you won’t be disappointed!

“how to lose 30 pounds in 1 month,” “lose 30 pounds in 1 month,” “how can I lose 30 pounds in 1 month”

I had a feeling I’d see something like this bringing someone here, or someones. I just didn’t think it would be this soon. It’s likely a result of this post. Maybe you’re one of the someones who keyed this into whatever search engine, and this site came up in your results. First and foremost, I totally get the desperation, and the feeling of wanting to lose a lot of weight really fast. I’ve tried crash diets, weight loss drinks and supplements, and as much as I hate to admit it, even those stupid diet pills you probably saw on TV a long time ago.

I can tell you from experience, it’s a really hard place to be with yourself. That being said, unless you’re starting at a BMI at the upper 40s or above, there really is no sustainable way to lose 30 pounds in a month without there being some serious illness involved. I wish there was a sustainable way to lose that amount of weight that quickly, believe you me. I’d have gotten to where I wanted to be a whole lot sooner, haha.

That being said, anywhere from 5 to 10 pounds lost per month is a far more attainable, and healthier goal to work toward. It won’t be the 30 pounds in a month like we see on My 600lb Life, unless that’s close to where you’re starting out, but it’s still no less a victory. At least, the way I’ve come to view it as.

“national ballpoint pen day,” “ballpoint pen day,” “world pen day 2021”

Who knew this was even a thing? I didn’t, until I was working on the post for this a little over a month ago. I remember reading about how the ballpoint pen came to be back when I was in high school, sophomore year, and I thought it was really cool. In any case, if you’re the one who Googled any of these keywords, I hope I was at least of some assistance in helping you find what you’re looking for. Come back anytime!

 

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